Dear Vickie,
I have amazing friends, but I feel like I’m not a good friend to them back. They show up for my events but I don’t show up to theirs. They are so willing to talk to me, but sometimes I want to be left alone. How can I be a better friend?
Sincerely,
Bad Friend
Dear Bad Friend,
I’ve been on both sides of this situation, and honestly, it sucks when you feel like you’re not doing enough, because nine times out of ten, that’s true. Showing up to their events is definitely a start, but just showing up for them, at all, will do more than you think. People want to feel seen and heard, and the best thing you can do, even if you can’t physically be there for everything, is to be present for them and their needs. Yes, your needs will always come first, because no one can give you what you want, except yourself, but there’s no reason to not be there for people, especially if they’re there for you.
People have collectively become a more individualistic society, where they’ll do anything to get to the top. I’m not saying that this is you, but I am saying that this has sort of created this mindset where we start believing that we don’t owe anyone anything. Still, we do, and while self-reliance is super important, so is being able to make good connections with people. The general consensus? Show up for your friends, not necessarily physically, but do what you can to show you care!
XOXO,
Vickie
Dear Vickie,
I’m not a naturally strong leader, but I want to be. How can I gain more confidence? I think I’m afraid of leading because I think I won’t be respected or will end up messing up.
Sincerely,
Follower
Dear Follower,
I think the best thing to do is just give it a shot! Worst case: you mess up big time, and that’s okay, maybe it’s not the right time just yet! Maybe you have some more to learn before you get to that place. Best case: you’re already at that place, and you’ve done it! Be gradual with it, don’t just step in and decide to take charge, because, as is in every situation, there’s time and place for that kind of stuff. Start by stepping up more and taking on roles that people might not need you to do, and work your way up. Eventually, people will stop letting you just pick up the slack and actually start listening.
To quote one of my favorite speeches, by Sheryl Lee Ralph at the Critics’ Choice Awards, “People don’t have to like you. People don’t have to love you. They don’t even have to respect you. But when you look in the mirror, you better love what you see.”
XOXO,
Vickie
Extras of the Year:
Dear Vickie,
Is Vickie short for Victoria? How come you don’t spell it as Vickie with a y (Vicky)?
Sincerely,
Hmmmmm
Dear Hmmmmm,
Vickie is short for Victoria! There’s honestly no reason I couldn’t be Vicky with a Y, we just landed on Vickie first 🙂
XOXO,
Vickie
Dear Vickie,
My parents really want me to major in STEM, however I have an interest in humanities. How do I let them know I want to pursue something that makes me happy and fulfilled rather than something that will make me money?
Sincerely,
A Daughter
Dear A Daughter,
Lucky for you, the Viking Vibe has just the solution: many, many, many, articles all contemplating the same issue that plagues you! If you’re looking for my specific advice, I’d check out this Vickie from a few months ago, or this one. If you’re looking for a more research-heavy piece, specifically about South Brunswick, I highly recommend Naishu’s “The STEM Allure” series. If neither of those float your boat, definitely check out our podcast, The Viking Voice, we come back to this STEM thing a lot.
XOXO,
Vickie
Dear Vickie
How do you feel about being a senior next year?
Sincerely,
Curious
Dear Curious,
Honestly, I’m not super sure. Part of me is excited but part of me is a little sad to leave all this behind once high school is over. I guess we’ll both have to wait and find out!
XOXO,
Vickie
Dear Vickie,
What are some easy APs to take next year?
Sincerely,
I Want A Good GPA
Dear I Want A Good GPA,
First of all, are you asking this question for the right reasons? Because from your name, I gather you aren’t. Second of all, I get it, I go here too. Honestly, I feel like ones best suited to your interests are naturally easier, but I’d recommend asking around to what classes people enjoyed the most without feeling the burden of an insane workload.
XOXO,
Vickie
Dear Vickie,
I keep losing fantasy football!!!!! My reputation is going to be destroid! It’s awful!!! They’re gonna make me do horrible things, Vickie! Unspeakably horrible!! Help help help help!!!!!!
Sincerely,
Foot Ball
Dear Foot Ball,
I am not a fantasy expert, and definitely not the person to ask, but at the risk of sounding like a buzz kill…should you be gambling?
And for the last time this year, XOXO,
Vickie
